Chuck Norris vs Steven Seagal
Humor

Top 10 Jokes about Chuck Norris vs Steven Seagal

Thousands of facts about Chuck Norris (I don´t dare to call them jokes. Who wants to piss off Chuck?!?) can be found on the internet. Chuck Norris is a legend and nobody can really compete with him. The only guy who can try is Steven Seagal, but sorry Steven, there is just one Chuck Norris in this universe. OK, we all know that the battle between Chuck Norris vs Steven Seagal is decided in advance but we can still laugh at jokes about Chuck Norris vs Steven Seagal. So, let´s take a look at some of them.

10. Daily dose of a black humor

Daily dose of a black humor

Image Credit: Dissidentia

Do you know who will die earlier, Steven Seagal or Chuck Norris? The truth is that it is a trick question. Chuck Norris is already dead but the death is afraid to tell him! OK, jokes like this are not nice, sorry for it. Fortunately, both guys are so tough that the can easily handle it. And from this moment, there will be no jokes about Chuck Norris vs Steven Seagal in which they die, I swear.

9. Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal as book writers?

Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal

Image Credit: discogs.com

Who can write a better book faster, Steven Seagal or Chuck Norris? Of course, it is Chuck because words fear him so much that they will rather arrange themselves. With this ability, Chuck Norris can beat William Shakespeare at any time.

8. Ninjas can´t beat them

Ninjas can´t beat them

Image Credit: Moviepilot

Ninjas are tough, but they can hardly match our two heroes. But Steven Seagal vs Chuck Norris movies won´t give us an answer who is better in killing ninjas, Seagal or Norris. The truth is that if Steven kills a ninja, he usually use his hide. However, it is well known that when Chuck kills a ninja, he uses everything.

7. Sleeping with fear

Sleeping with fear

Image Credit: The Independent

When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he is not looking for a boogeyman under his bed. When Steven Seagal goes to sleep, he is looking for Chuck Norris at a closet. Another round of Chuck Norris vs Steven Seagal goes to Chuck!

6. Lawman casting

Lawman casting

Image Credit: Epguides

Steven Seagal was the star of a reality TV show called Lawman. It is documentary series about his service as a reserve deputy sheriff in Louisiana and Arizona. He was very good and kicked ass of many bad guys. But did you know that Chuck Norris was the first choice of producers? The problem was that nothing was happening during the time of Chuck´s service, all criminals were simply too scared.

5. Disagreement with the Constitution

Disagreement with the Constitution

Image Credit: ProChlapy

Do you know why Steven Seagal fled to Russia? Because he no longer believes in an American constitution. How is that possible? Because it says that all men were created equal. It is obviously not true as there is Chuck Norris, he is better. We understand Steven´s frustration, but we think that he could choose a better country.

4. What does have Steven Seagal and Chuck Norris in common?

Seagal and Chuck Norris

Image Credit: LevelEleven

Do you know what does Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal have in common? They both scare one and only thing – Chuck Norris. Once again, sorry Steven, there can be only one man on top, and it´s Chuck Norris. But it´s not a shame to be beaten in Chuck Norris vs Steven Seagal battle. You are still above 7 billion of us others…

3. Chuck Norris, Steven Seagal and women

Chuck Norris, Steven Seagal and women

Image Credit: Pinterest

There is no doubt that both Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal are every woman´s dream. But once again, only Chuck Norris knows Victoria´s secret. However, as they did not appear in the same movie, Steven Seagal vs Chuck Norris movies battle is a draw concerning womanizing.

2. Sports?

Sports?

Image Credit: Pinterest

It may sound surprising, but there is actually a sport in which Chuck Norris will have a lower score than anyone else including Steven Seagal. It´s a golf. In fact, Chuck Norris is the only person able to complete an 18-hole course in 9 strokes.

1. Chuck Norris´ nightmare

Chuck Norris´ nightmare

Image Credit: parade

Well, it´s not fair that there is still a zero score on Steven Seagal´s side in this jokes about Chuck Norris vs Steven Seagal competition. So far, all jokes (sorry, facts…) are in favor of Chuck Norris. With the last one, we will try to fix it. So, do you know why Steven Seagal came to this planet? Because Chuck Norris should have nightmares too, as other people have.

OK, thank you for reading and let us offer you another interesting article about film industry – Top 10 Last-Minute Suspense Thriller Movies, if you are interested, feel free to click!

Don’t forget to read more articles here.

Spread the love

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *