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“First time I saw you, I saw love.”
The last time I remember saying I love you to something I saw for the first time was when I saw the mango-graham-topped-cupcake that my friend brought me from her home country.
When I was younger, I (almost) believed that love at first sight is possible. But then I grew up. And then I realized that the eyes are capable of deceiving even the ones that claim they could see clearly.
Shoot me, love at first sight fans, for I am about to oppose your belief on the magic of falling in love at first glance. Read on to see the top 10 different misconceptions about love and love at first sight.
Number 10: The “Soulmate”
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One of the many different misconceptions about love that most of us have is believing that our “love at first sight” is also our soulmate.
Let me get this straight.
Sometimes, soulmates do not necessarily mean a love partner. A soulmate could be a friend that you jive with or someone you connect with.
It might be confusing for some because one of the indications that you have found your soulmate is through attraction. But then honestly, connecting with somebody doesn’t take a snap of a finger. Or in this case, a blink of an eye. Beautiful love stories require a solid foundation and take many years to write.
Number 9: The “Magic”
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Being exposed to fairy tales, we all embrace the thought of a princess being saved by a knight in shining armor. One kiss and the princess awakens; magic dust come out and viola! The princess instantly falls in love with the prince who is brave enough to slay the dragon just to get to the princess.
But does the magic really happen?
More often than not, this fascination is confused with adoration. Sometimes it is just the feeling of lust or maybe, you are just “charmed”. At the end of the day, that magic might just be a twisted enthrallment.
Number 8: The “One”
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How can we really say that he/she is “The One”?
Poets, critics old and young famous artists may have sugar-coated the thought of “falling in love at first sight” too much that we conceptualize love into finally finding “The One”. What makes you decide to spend the rest of your life with someone does not happen in a second. Beautiful love stories are a work in progress.
You will find plenty of “The One” because honestly, that is what we feel towards our partner when we are in a good relationship. If a relationship that you worked hard for does not guarantee you of a love ever after, how could a person you saw for the first time do?
Number 7: The “Pureness of Intentions”
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Sometimes all we need is a big old slap in the face just so we could wake up from our daydream. Only a hypocrite would tell you that no physical attraction took place when he/she “fell in love with you first hand”.
I sure am not in the position to say that everyone, (every, single, one) sees lust towards the other. But did you know that a research showed 87% of love, at first sight, had a tinge of lust in them?
Number 6: “Most Powerful Form of Love”
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We all crave beautiful love stories because love is a great driving force that can move mountains. There are different forms of love, different kinds of intensity and different ways to show that love to someone.
According to the Ancient Greeks, there are many ways to name the kind of love that you feel towards another human being. Some of which are:
Agape or the love for humanity
Storge or family love
Pragma or love which endures
Philautia or self-respect
Philia or shared experience
Ludus or flirting, playful affection
Many might raise their brows if I say that unconditional love is the most powerful kind. One that can be achieved through time and effort; something that falling in love at first sight, falls short of.
Number 5: The “Spark”
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Some of us guard our heart with everything we have while there are some whose feelings knocks them like a bullet, ready to surrender to the fatal blow of love. People with love at first sight syndrome, more often than not, see themselves spiraling into a whirlwind of emotions by somebody who catches their eye, mistaking it for the thing they call the “spark”.
Although you can really experience the “spark” upon laying your eyes on someone for the first time, you can also feel that with someone who has been with you all this time but never actually see. (Well, not until you realize how important that someone actually is.)
Number 4: The “Perfect Timing”
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The glitch in love at first sight relationship is that it creates unrealistic outlooks and hopes.
It is important that an initial connection is established; a driving force that would make you want to connect with someone. Love, at first sight, feels the same thing; someone who passes you by on your down most state; someone just in time.
Although that would be the case, it is important to remember that comfort that passes by on a perfect timing do not necessarily mean love.
Number 3: The “Heaven Sent”
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I hate to burst your bubble but God introduces you to people whom He believes will give you love, lesson or both.
Although “heaven sent” might not necessarily mean a fallacy, seeing somebody first hand and falling in love instantly, believing that this is THE ONE that God has sent to you, is. Somebody who is real “heaven sent” is a love that surpasses hate, endures all the hindrances and withstands the toughest.
Number 2: The “Destiny”
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Because the thought of falling in love, at first sight, is magical in itself, people sometimes associate it with fate.
Our subconscious has the capacity to ploy us into thinking that attraction combined with a connection can actually mean affection. This thought, when infused with some magic, makes us think that is destiny’s work.
Number 1: Love at First Sight Per Se
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Every time I see two old couples together, holding hand and enjoying life, I would always think, “Is it magic that brought these two people together?”
As I grew older and after numerous failed relationship, I realized that magic begins where you spread your magic dust. Like love, you reap what you sow; you get what you worked hard for.
Our eyes, they have the capacity to see only the physical aspects of a person. But what our soul knows surpasses everything that our naked eyes perceive.
Loving someone with enormous intensity is real. It digs deep and develops into something unconditional. And that is more than what meets your eye. At the end of the day, these different misconceptions of love do not necessarily mean what we have felt towards another person isn’t real. As they say, there is no right and wrong in loving.